Restless

by © hunnerds2

My escape has gone unanswered too long
Hidden deep within turmoil, screaming to get out
I sit waiting, anticipating its return
To find relief
Yet my mind aimlessly wanders, searching
Confusion disrupts the flow and I’m left aching

Knock Knock

I cannot believe what happened yesterday to me. It is for this very reason I am not liking my neighborhood. Yesterday was cleaning day for me, bill paying, etc. Pretty much a day in which I don't get ready for the day. On top of the chores that need to be done, I also have my children I'm keeping tamed. Anyway, early afternoon I'm busy on the phone. I hear a knock on my door knowing it was the little neighbor girl across the street. I'm not in the mood for play dates (has anyone heard of calling first?), I don't want my house destroyed (I'm trying to clean it) and I'm on the phone, so I decide to not open my door. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, ten plus minutes pass and she's still knocking, yelling, turning my door knob, and pressing the door bell repeatedly. I couldn't believe it. I was so angry. Of course my kids want to open the door, but I didn't want to deal with the fits that would take place because of me saying NO to her coming in. After she finally left, I then had to sit my daughter down and explain proper doorbell etiquette, if that's what you want to call it. Now from the beginning, I've never had a very relaxed feeling about my daughter playing with her, so those feelings were playing a part in it also. Yesterday I wasn't in the mood to deal with another child. I cannot believe the rudeness that was displayed. It's like everytime I walk out the front door with my children, I'm bombarded from across the street. Here we are trying to wash the car, or most of the time, leaving for errands. What is with that? Today, I walk out to the car w/ my son to go and pick my daughter up from preschool, and here she comes across the street. Needless to say I was in my car very quickly ready to back out. I have no idea if I'm being ridiculous, but I'm dumbfounded at the whole incident. That's not the first time she's tried opening my door without me opening it first. Anyway, just had to get that off my chest.

What's with the remote?

This is totally a guy thing. Why? Wish I knew. My son, not even two years old, already has to have the remote in hand while watching TV, namely football. If he's in my lap and I have the remote in hand to switch channels, he mumbles something while grabbing the remote. Then he just sits there, fine as can be. It must be born into them. To be honest, I really don't mind. When I take one look at his cheesy smile, I melt. "Sure honey, you can have the remote."

"Listen"

by © rowan2352

Ok, so I'm having a heart to heart with my 4 year old daughter about "listening." I go through this huge talk on why it's important to listen and "pay attention" while a parent or teacher is talking and how her listening would really help mommy and daddy out. Towards the end she asks something in which I respond with a "Do you want me to be done with my conversation?" She goes on to tell me that she wants to talk to to me. I say fine, and this is where I'm floored. She says, "So...what privileges come from screaming? We aren't supposed to do that. Kicking, screaming, yelling, pushing someone down, that's not nice, we're not supposed to do those things." The conversation then goes on about what is nice, etc. What floored me was the way she was speaking. It was very much like a teacher to a student, in this case, I'm the student. I stopped her in the middle of "her" conversation to ask where she learned this (thinking it sounded very much like a lesson verbatim she recently had from school), and she said, "From you." I never cease to be amazed by her and her intellect. She is so bright and yet at the same time, very challenging. I'm left to think that those co-exist. Now, if only I can figure out how to handle and steer all the qualities that go hand in hand with those attributes. If I can succeed, her road in life will have endless possibilities.

What I Miss

by © aksinovits

I just recently came back from Idaho ("home") where I spent time with family and participated in a bridal show. For me, to walk down the cat-walk, trying to do "real" runway style, is completely out of my comfort zone. But you know what, I had so much fun doing it and hanging out with a great group of women. It surprises me how much of "myself" returns when I go home. I feel renewed, strong, confident... When I return to VA, I feel as if parts of me disappear. Why? I haven't figured it out.